“I’m totally in love with her, and that’s all that matters,” they will say to themselves, clinging to this belief for the next 50 years of an unhappy marriage. People are generally bad at predicting their relationship preferences because their person and needs as a single person are different than when they are in a relationship. As with everything in life, you also need enough experience to be good at it. But we rarely have enough time to be in more than a few serious relationships before deciding on our life partner.
If you rush to make these decisions, you run the risk of finding yourself in situations you’re not prepared for with someone who may or may not be on the same page as you in terms of life priorities. You’ll definitely want to avoid getting intimately involved with a potential partner until you get to know the person. While it’s certainly possible to turn an informal relationship into something more serious, sexual intimacy shouldn’t be the basis of long-term happiness.
If you expect perfection in your life partner, that’s a cardinal mistake you’re making. Perfect job, perfect family, perfect sense of clothing – these can be things that appeal to you in a person right now. Although you have been told to choose a partner wisely, sexual compatibility may have been lower in your hierarchical order of qualities you seek in a partner. There is no doubt that sexual attraction decreases over time and it is the mental and emotional connection that strengthens a relationship.
Take a look at these 12 tips and you’ll have a clear idea of the factors to consider when choosing a life partner. The main reason why most of the above types end up in unhappy relationships is that they are consumed by a motivating force that doesn’t take into account the reality of what a life partnership is and what makes it something happy. This article was co-authored by Lauren Urban, LCSW. Lauren Urban is a licensed psychotherapist based in Brooklyn, New York, with over 13 years of therapy experience working with children, families, couples and individuals. She earned her Master’s Degree in Social Work from Hunter College in 2006 and specializes in working with the LGBTQIA community and with clients in recovery or considering recovery from drug and alcohol use. Our families shape the way we think and act throughout our lives. Having a clear idea of how you want your partner to fit into your family is a must for anyone thinking about spending their life with someone else.
For example, do you want to settle down and have children or do you want to focus on your career and travel the world? Once you know what you want out of life, use this vision to imagine your ideal partner. Then meet people who have similar interests to yours by joining clubs, attending social events, and scouring dating websites. Ask them about their own dreams and desires to see how this fits into their image. While you need to find someone who wants a future similar to yours, you should also be willing to commit to smaller details, as it will be difficult to find someone who is a perfect fit for you.
It is necessary to learn more about each other’s life goals and choose a life partner accordingly. If your professional and personal goals match, you can avoid disputes and live a happily married Thai dating life. Choosing a life partner may seem daunting, but by figuring out what you’re looking for, exposing yourself, and having realistic expectations, you have a better chance of finding someone.